Learn how to work less with the Accountability Triangle by getting clear, focusing on the outcome, setting boundaries, and stop doing other people’s jobs In this episode, I show you what accountability really is and how you can transform it to a super power for stressing and working less.
You have most likely been taught a form of accountability that focuses on control and drives you towards burnout, especially if you have been socialized as a woman and now work as a woman in leadership, woman in tech, woman in stem, or more.
For example:
- “Hold them accountable”
- “Make sure Bob is putting his numbers into the report correctly”
- “Your job is to get them to act”
Sure these statements may sound innocent and simple – maybe even normal – but they really, really aren’t.
In fact, these statements, and the mindset behind them, are destined to wear you out, slow down your career growth, limit your goal achievement, and cap your income.
This form of accountability is actually not-so-hidden control:
- controlling others
- controlling shared situations
- even controlling the uncontrollable
Which is as far away from the true definition of accountability as you can get, almost the exact opposite. Webster’s Dictionary defines accountability as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions” (emphasis mine).
True accountability is a habit that empowers you and is based on clarity, boundaries, communication, and excellence for YOU. Real accountability is a force that reduces that amount of stress you carry and the amount of extra effort you take on. Real accountability reduces conflicts, matures timelines and scopes, and focuses you on what you can actually control: YOU, your mindset, your actions, and your future.
But if the definition is clear and the benefits are many, why (oh why?!) is accountability so misunderstood and misused?
In other words, why are you so exhausted, overscheduled, and struggling?
Well, the short answer is that if you take on too much governance, control, and delivery, calling it “accountability” other people get to do less themselves.
In other words, you do their job. Or maybe their jobs.
You do their tasks, their thinking and planning, and, most exhaustingly, their emotional labor.
It is exhausting. You are exhausted because it is exhausting.
So, how do you change it up, stop doing their job, and create space and time for yourself? I offer you the Accountability Triangle
The Accountability Triangle is a framework I use with my clients. They consistently report that the Accountability Triangle helps them make clear choices that reduce their work effort by between one and three hours each week.
The Accountability Triangle is rooted in my numerous certifications as well as established research, including:
- Erickson Solution Focused Coaching
- Prosci Change Management Practitioner, specifically stakeholder management
- Project Management Institute, specifically RACI
- Karpman Drama Triangle
- The Power of Ted*Empowerment Triangle
The Triangle has three elements:
- a shared outcome or goal
- you and your accountabilities and responsibilities
- a second person’s accountabilities and responsibilities.
Register here to get access to the video and workbook combo: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/649b392bcac3e37f36e4a29d
Thank you so much for listening to season four! I am grateful for your time and reviews, emails, and DMs sharing how Celebrate Brave has impacted you. Please continue sharing!
Related Episodes:
E105: How to Believe Yourself & My Autoimmune Story https://celebratebrave.libsyn.com/e105-how-to-believe-yourself-my-autoimmune-story
E95: Brave is the Bridge to Everything You Dream About https://celebratebrave.libsyn.com/brave-is-the-bridge-to-everything-you-dream-about
E101: The Truth About Lay-Offs & What To Do https://celebratebrave.libsyn.com/e101-the-truth-about-lay-offs-what-to-do
Resources:
Drama Triangle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
Empowerment Triangle: https://www.emexmag.com/empowerment-triangle-model/
RACI project management: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Responsibility_assignment_matrix
Stakeholder Management: Prosci https://www.prosci.com/
Terry Real: https://terryreal.com/
For more information on how you can build your brave:
https://www.instagram.com/nicoletricksteinbach
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoletricksteinbach/
https://www.facebook.com/NicoleTrickSteinbach
If you are an established woman in tech who is creating results and making an impact at work so your workload and stress just keep growing but promotions and salary bumps remain a distant dream, it is time for change.
Listen, we all know the tech industry has dramatically changed. It’s time your career approach did too.
You don’t need cookie-cutter programs or dusty advice from outdated playbooks, because what works for tech bros, won’t work for you. You need individualized, bespoke support to build your brave career. One that reflects who you are as a woman in tech.
I invite you to explore career coaching with me. Get all the details, including prices and client results, at TrickSteinbach.com.
You can stress less, work less, and earn more. You’ve already earned it. Let’s make it happen.