Hello, brave people. I am so excited today to dive into part one of my three part framework for build your brave. I mentioned this in the last episode. So if you miss that one and you want to have a holistic view, head on back over there and get a quick overview of the three part. The research, the sourcing, the experience, et cetera of the framework. I’m going to dive in to you today. 

Okay. Let’s go tell it to your dentist. Now, remember, this is about having FUN. It’s about being a little, little kooky, right? And I want to start us off today with…… I’m trying to think how to describe this with a bit more definition, a redefinition of what brave really means.

So in our cultures and you know, I lived in Europe for over a decade. I’ve traveled to over 25 different countries for work. Even more for holidays, which is far more enjoyable, though an expensive way to travel. And here’s the thing in our cultures far too often, our definition of brave is running into a burning building and slamming our fingers onto the desk and saying, IT’S GONNA BE THIS WAY.

And that’s not only what we’re talking about here. This is about the type of brave we all live every day. This is about talking about the skill of bravery, the joy of success the joy of failure. So I want to just quote the amazing Glennon Doyle in her book untamed. And when I read this, I thought, Oh my goodness, I slammed the book shut. And then I just squeezed it hard against my body because yes, this is the type of brave that took me from welfare to multiple six figures. Okay. Whether this is on page one Oh five of the hard. The hard version of that word fails me. Whether you are brave or not, cannot be judged by people on the outside.

Sometimes being brave requires letting the crowd think your are a coward. Sometimes being brave means letting everyone down, but yourself.  If that doesn’t send chills up and down your spine and expand your heart, she goes on to say, brave is not asking the crowd. What is brave? Brave is the fighting of one self.

Okay. So with this in mind, with this inspiration, with this incredible view, that I could not agree with more.  Tell it to your dentist.

 In my corporate career. I was offered vice-president roles a couple of times,  more than a handful of times. And in each of those times, these were opportunities that just weren’t right for me. But it’s a VP position, more power, more control, more visibility, more….whatever else it is, stock options, payment,  likes on your LinkedIn. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what it would have been more off. Because that option was not the brave option for me. Why?  I already had prime prime opportunities. All the prime opportunities.? No. Does anybody have all of them? No. And the only reason I could walk away from those positions, the only reason I could say no as a full and complete sentence. The only reason is because I had incredible clarity, incredible specificity, incredible belief, that it was okay. That I was okay.

That although other people may not understand it. And there were people who did not understand, I was making the brave choice for me and my life: Tell it to your dentist. 

Now, tell it to your dentist is not about just saying no, of course not. Tell it to your dentist is a fun FUN way to say you got to get real specific, really specific, really unique to yourself. Okay. So some of the ways that you can do this right now, RIGHT NOW  is you can say hmm me, what do I want? You know, sometimes people need to start with, what do I not want? I know I had to do that. I had to know, I do not want to stay in Ohio. Is Ohio horrible? No, obviously people live there and they love it. I did not want to stay in Ohio.

I did not want to stay in education. I did not. You can start with the nots. The first thing you do, is to write it down, why? And write it down, not type it down, write it down. There is a ton of research out there that explains why you want to write it down, but write it down. You want to invest in yourself by a fantastic notebook, buy a lovely notebook.

And grab a piece of scrap paper Y’all! I use scrap paper all the time. For big and everyday things, write it down, write down that goal. And this is where the specify comes into play and tell it to your dentist, because remember the goal here, the outcome of this part one is that when you’re at the dentist, And the dentist starts making conversation. You can say what it is you were after what you were building, what you’re creating, what you’re achieving. So simply. And so specifically that your dentist not only understands you with their tools and their fingers in your mouth, but they can also help you. So specify. How many, what kind, when, where with whom? There’s lots of ways you can specify, and again, it’s okay. I encourage you to start with the nots. That’s a okay. If that’s what helps you get more specific, go for it. 

Okay. So you’ve written it down. You’ve gotten more specific. Of course this means editing. I know, I know, I know, I know, English major here, so you’ve edited it.

And now here we go a little bit more. You’re going to put all of your words into the simple present tense. Don’t worry about what that means. There are only a couple like less than a handful of languages in the entire world that don’t utilize this tense. This is the tense for right now. So instead of; I will earn a promotion, I will travel more. I will hmhm or I should say eugh.

Sidenote:  if it should, could, would any of these conditional things throw that out? That is not your goal, honey. You get one life. You get one go around in this situation, in this makeup, in this whatever This is your one, don’t live somebody else’s life. Okay. That’s a huge part of bravery.Remember what Glennon Doyle had written? This is yours. So get those shoulds on out of here. I should earn more money is the worst reason to go after a raise. Okay. All right. So. Simple, present tense. You have written it down, you’ve gotten specific, simple present tense. Alright, ready? That’s the inside part. You’re going to play with this for a while.

It’s not going to hit exactly there. You’re going to stretch inside. That’s that first building bravery on the inside? And then you go to the outside. And this is the part; Tell it to your dentist. Okay. Not literally your dentist, if you don’t want to, I don’t want you waiting six months to start telling people about this.

Take a moment right now and think about three to five brave people in your life. That believe in you that’s stretch you. These people, they could have something to do with their brave, with your brave goal, or they could not, you know, it’s just kind of one of those things, but these are people who believe in you.

These are people who when you tell them your next big thing, your next big success, they lean forward. And they say things like, tell me more, huh? How’s that going to happen? I don’t know if that’s a big enough goal or what’s your motivation. These are the people who are there with you working through it, talking through it,  thinking through whatever it is that you just shared with them.

This type of sharing, sharing your specific, unique, present tense goal ambition next big success. This is super uncomfortable. And unfortunately we can learn things about ourselves and our relationships we don’t really enjoy. That’s going to be in part three; own it like a boss, just heads up. Okay. That is; tell it to your dentist.

This takes some time. And it’s always shifting. You’ll become more specific if you’re starting in the; “I don’t want these things”.  Over time, you’re going to get to:”I want these things”. And it’s so important that you start with the foundation. Bravery is a skill. Every one is brave. The reality, of what brave looks like, feels like smells like, tastes like, sounds like,  all the senses.  It’s bigger, it’s deeper, it’s more glorious. It’s more. And you deserve more. You deserve to live your bravest fullest, most gorgeous life. And part one is making sure, you know what that is. Thank you so much for listening today. Time is an invaluable resource until next week. Brave it up and celebrate brave.

Thank you so much for your time today to listen to this episode of the celebrate brave podcast. If you enjoyed it, rate and review, wherever you get your podcasts, help more people join our movement to redefine brave. How we see it, how we identify it. And most importantly, how we celebrate it until then; brave it up!

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Brave it up.