Transcript

Welcome to the celebrate brave podcast. 

I’m Nicole Trick Steinbach, your host, and the international bravery coach. On a mission to redefine brave. How we identify it, live it, and most importantly, celebrate it. Because when you build your brave, you change your world and that changes the world. Talk about something to celebrate. Let’s go.

Hello, brave people! Today we are going to talk about the board of directors and specifically your career board of directors. I’m going to share with you what it is, why it matters and how you can begin to enhance or establish your own board of directors. Okay. First a bit of a story. 

So the board of directors is a concept that was introduced to me relatively late.

If you are into your career and you’re like, what is she talking about? Board of directors. I’ve already had these successes and I’ve had promotions and I’ve switched companies. And I stepped into my power. And what on earth is a board of director, like totally fine. I’ve been there and there is no reason to freak out. It is essentially a mental model. That helps us consider who are our three to five brave people from the; Tell it to your dentist clarity aspect of my build your brave framework. 

So here we go. What is a board of directors? A board of directors is very similar to what it is at a company or a non-profit. It’s a small group of people who have specific expertise that supports a common goal. Now, the big area where the board of directors for a corporation or a nonprofit and your board of directors, where it diverges, where it separates is because at a board of directors at a company, they know they’re supporting each other to a shared goal. And in your board of directors, you’re three to five people. They probably won’t know. They probably won’t know they’re working together to support you. And, there are times to bring them together, but your board of directors is for you, it’s for your success. Okay. So board of directors, three to five people working together, they have specific expertise or insight, and they’re working to support you.

So. What are these people like? Okay, well, there’s a couple of things. Number one, they have to actually know you. So when I talk to people and they say, oh, board of directors, it’s totally Angie Merkel. No, no, no, no. It’s Oprah. It’s Beyonce it’s………. right. No, these are people who really know you, who you have direct one-on-one conversations and connections with. These people, in addition, they care about you. They may not care about you as a human, you may not want to have dinner with these people, but they care about what you’re bringing into the world professionally, personally, et cetera. And you care about what they’re doing. So these are people that, you know, like and trust and they know, like, and trust you. And like here, I’m using very very loosely. I’m going to share a story about why I’m using it loosely. 

These people, they both push you and they pull you. So this could be through questioning. So for the few people where I am on their board of directors, it’s because of my questions. It’s because of my challenging nature. It’s because of the, think it through, feel it through. How do you want to continue to move on. For other people, it may be skill build. It may be relationship build. It may be networking build. It may even be, this person was on my board of directors. They work at a company I’ve always wanted to work at now. I know, like, and trust them. They know, like, and trust me. Again, loosely held and they’re willing to have one-on-one conversations with me and they will pull me into rooms so that I can achieve my goal. 

This is the difference, quick side note between mentoring and board of directors. Can your mentor be on your board of directors? Yeah, totally, for sure. But on your board of directors, they’re playing a slightly different role, which is sponsorship. So perhaps they’re challenging you perhaps they’re role modeling for you, perhaps they’re helping you navigate joyful moments, tricky moments, awful moments. But they’re also pushing and pulling you as you work towards your goal. Now, things about a board of directors. You could meet with them frequently or infrequently. Another thing, your board of directors changes over time. Why? Because it’s about who you are becoming. The goal you have next, the who you have next, the challenges you have next, the opportunities that you have next.

So there are some people who may stay on your board of directors for a really, really long time. I have one gentleman who, every time I talk with him, it’s again, a confirmation that he is still firmly on my board of directors probably has been for, yeah, for over a decade. Cause my son’s about to become a decade old. Big feelings about that one. Okay. But over a decade, nobody else has been on my board of directors that long. Some people, especially when I shifted from corporate into entrepreneur, they were on my board of directors for six to eight months because I was learning so quickly, I was growing so quickly. And I was having, frankly, I was having success so quickly. And so the people that could help me at the beginning and who knew, liked, and trusted me at one phase, weren’t able to do that support even though they still knew, liked and trusted me at that new phase. So these people will shift and it’s up to you to meet with them frequently, infrequently to make sure that they know what your goal is, that you’re having the conversations about who you want to become and that they’re still in the position and willing to push. And to pull you into the rooms, into the conversations, into the relationships, et cetera, mindset, behaviors, et cetera, for your next goal of, it’s a job change, it’s a title change. It’s a functional change, or it’s a change in who you are becoming. 

I want to kind of go back. This is a loopback I wanted to keep the definition of what is important factors and why matters. And then I want to add a little caveat about the like. There may be people on your board of directors that you respect. You don’t necessarily want to have dinner with them. Okay. I want to share a very, very specific story. So with the gentleman that I mentioned earlier, my husband knows him. I’ve worked with him. I’ve worked for him. I’ve done consulting for him. I’ve had him to my house. My kids know him. He carried my baby around my apartment. I know his wife and we’ve had dinner together. I know his ex-wife and we’ve had dinner together. I know his dreams. And when he was working on the iron man, I was like, I think it was every other week I would reach out and say, you’ve got this, this is yours. Your training’s awesome. Fantastic. Okay. So some may call that a friendship I would, and he’s also every time I talk with him, he’s like, so what’s your next goal? What kind of skills are you? And how can I help you? Like the push and the pull. . the pull; how can I help you. Push of; Nicole I don’t think you’re dreaming big enough. I don’t think you’re working towards that hard enough. Why are you wasting your time spinning? Yeah, it’s fantastic. So I know quite frankly, I love him and I trust him completely. Like I would turn my house over to him. 

So a different story. And it’s interesting cause it is also a woman. So it was a woman and our core personalities did not mesh. I’m a people person. I’m an extrovert. I challenge. It’s my magic. I run towards things that are just all over messy. I speak the truth. I speak my truth to power. And if I don’t, I really suffer. Like it hurts my soul suffer. She was completely different. Introverted, rather technical rather focused into the details. So here I am, I’m like 60%. Let’s go. She’s like 95%. I want to keep planning. Neither of us were in technical roles at our software company, but our approach to life was very different. I am a revolutionary. And she is very, very stable. Okay. So we had very, very little in common, but here’s the thing. She was much more senior than I was. And she saw in me a shift, a growth, an opportunity, not just for me, but also for herself. And, and this is where we could really connect. For other women. We never had dinner together. I think one time we went out for a glass of wine. It was super freaking awkward. But my goal and her goal were super aligned for about two years. And she had the desire to understand and to grow and to push me. Push me to speak up more, to go further, to challenge deeper, to build more connections and pull me into the rooms of power with my magic, to build opportunities for myself, for her and for even more women in tech around the world.

And we did amazing things together. One small slice of our connection was building this amazing thing for other people. The rest of it was her on my board of directors. I mean, to the point where the gentleman I was talking about probably has no idea. He’s on my board of directors and has been for 10 years, more than 10 years. I think probably 13 years. And on the other hand, this person, this woman, it was very codified. And at the point in time, when she started to feel like I’m not sure that this is valuable for us anymore, we codified it again. We had a very, awkward conversation, sort of like a breakup conversation. It was great.

So when you’re thinking of your board of directors, hold this term “like”, hold it loosely, because what you’re doing is you’re, you’re clear about who you’re becoming, what your next goal is, or the impact that you want to have. Maybe that’s a little bit easier. I’ve noticed recently, especially during, um, COVID and coming out of the COVID pandemic, you know, tons of people are being passed over by promotion. I have an episode earlier about that. And there are all these ideas that things are going to go back, quote, unquote, to normal for the advantage people. And those of us who haven’t had systems built around us historically are like, nah, nah. And so a lot of people of my clients and consultations, et cetera are coming in, want to have a conversation about what to do next, but they don’t have a title. Okay. So what I’m noticing is that for a lot of people, it’s helpful to consider what impact do I want to have? I want to steer this software development. I want to make sure our next massive release is more inclusive of accessibility and growing through over time, I want to have the impact of hiring from completely different areas of the world or university’s ages, et cetera.

Cause man ageism is real. Whoa side note, ageism is real. Okay. So the point here is that if you don’t have like a concrete goal, maybe you want to think about the impact. And then you want to think about who that’s already in my life, or is just one connection away from my life could help me build that, reach that accomplish that become the person that I wish to become.

All right. So some specific times that I’ve used the board of directors. Now, some of these, I didn’t know the concept because as I said, this was brought to me later in life. Looking back I was like, oh, well, I did that. And I did that. So here’s one. Helped me get through university. I’ll be honest. My direct manager was one of them. I had two professors who deeply, deeply believed in me. And you guys know I did ROTC for two and a half years. And there was a captain who deeply believed in me and pushed me. That was my board of directors. You know, when I moved to Germany, it was really, really hard. And I’ll be honest with ya’ll. If I had read those books about moving to Germany, I would have been like, this is not my place. I’m a people person. I’m an extrovert. I love loose connections right? So there were people who really helped me. One of them is still a friend to this day. Another one was because I was working freelance for the first, I think, two years. And… not very well.  , Anyhoo, you know, one of my agency providers was on there and then one other person who was a connection and had lived in Germany, she was British. She had lived in Germany at that point, I think already 30 years, she just gave me so much hope. And she always gave me permission that I was able to leave. Another time that I used it when I stepped into global travel y’all I had no idea how to do that. No clue!! So I had a group of people who really supported me with that and supported me in that. No, like trust, push, pull. This is not necessarily, this is how you pack your bag, right? My colleagues helped with that, but this is how you manage when you’re on the road, the impact of your work, the value of your work is still seen and respected and taken seriously. And the money follows. 

And then this board of directors concept was actually shared with me was when I was growing into leadership in my first management position. The company I was working with, inside of first-level leader training actually introduced this concept to me and introduce the way to build it. Now I’m not sharing their way because their way was…… unaffected. It was really, really ineffective because the no part was in there, but the like and the trust was completely missing. And if you don’t respect the person, if you don’t trust the person, they don’t trust you, why would they ever take your name into their mouth for additional opportunities right. But that was when it was introduced to me. And quite frankly, since then, I’ve been very conscientious about it. 

And now of course, in building my own business, I have the largest board of directors I’ve ever had. And it’s women who build a business and exited. It’s off women who are still building their businesses. It’s women who are still in corporate, but deeply believe in me and are pushing me like y’all don’t even know. And then it’s the gentleman that I talked about. And so this board of directors, what is it? It’s your three to five brave people. Who know you, like you, care about you, trust you and they push and they pull you towards this shared goal.

And that shared goal is to you. They may not know they share, that’s fun about it, but you need to know, and you need to be super clear about the goal you’re going to, or who you are becoming and make sure that you’re meeting. Infrequently, frequently, regularly irregularly. however, it works for you and your relationship because this, this is the network that Springs you forward. This is the network that springs you forward. Make sure you have a board of directors. Make sure that you are doing the uncomfortable work to set one up or to amplify, to enhance. Remember the members may change over time and you’ve got this. People want to support you. People want to see you succeed.

And this is part of the: How to build your BRAVE  framework. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of the celebrate brave podcast.

If you’re ready to build your brave, to live a life you love, and create a career that matters to you. Reach out! Together we can spend time one-on-one to explore how I can help you. And until then share this episode with people in your life. People who can join our movement. To redefine brave how we identify it, experience it, and celebrate it.