You matter.
Especially during difficult events:
- Choosing to bravely recognize and believe in your inherent worth is brave.
- Deciding that your voice deserves to be heard, that your dreams, goals, career, relationships, and money matter is brave.
- Getting and staying involved in building the community, career, life, and world you desire is brave.
This week I address the emotional fallout after the most recent US elections. This is a dedicated brave space for women in tech who are grappling with emotions ranging from sadness to anger, fear, and betrayal. Wherever you are, know that your feelings are valid and that you matter.
I share some of two of the quotes helping me through this time:
- “It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.” -Star Trek
- “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” -Nelson Mandela
I also share a small slice of how my family’s past drives my commitment to making brave choices for a better future.
This episode is a powerful reminder to embrace your inherent worth, your right to feel, and your right to take up space in the world.
Remember: you matter.
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Transcript
If no one has told you yet, let me be the one to say it again. You matter, believing in your worth, believing that you deserve space in this world and that your voice deserves to be heard. Is an act of bravery.
Welcome to the build your brave career podcast, where we flip the script on the tired stereotype that women in and around the tech industry have to be stressed out, overworked and underpaid. I’m Nicole trick Steinbach. Let’s dive in.
Hey there, woman in tech. Today’s episode is for you. If you’re feeling anything from sadness to anger, fear or betrayal, especially if recent events like the U S election results or any other momentous event in your country, in your community has left you shaken wherever you are and wherever you’re listening from know that this episode is here for you as a brave space, as a reminder.
And as a voice of support, I’ve heard from a number of people, you’re feeling numb or dissociated, threatened and fearful inside of the U. S. and outside. That’s why I want to stress this episode is for yes, the recent U. S. elections and also for events in your own spaces. In this moment, you may be caught in a spiral of emotions.
You may find yourself driven to organize or to disappear. You may be somewhere in between whatever response you’re feeling in this moment. It is valid. And I hope that this episode gives you more of what you need because we begin with a very simple and profound truth. You matter your rights, your goals. Your voice, your relationships, your career, your money, they matter. You’re here today because of the strength and resiliency of those who came before you and in your own unique way, you are contributing to the future that others will inherit and right here, right now.
You matter just as you are. One of my favorite quotes, which I often return to in challenging times is from the aspirational and imaginary world of Star Trek, a starship captain named John Luke Picard tells his colleague, who’s terrified of making a mistake. Quote, It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose.
That is not a weakness. That is life. This quote is a reminder that even when we show up, do our best and pour our energy and our skills into something meaningful. There may still be an outcome that is painful, an outcome that is out of our control. That is not weakness, that is life. As a coach, a woman in tech, and a mother, this quote helps me drop the weight of perfectionism and embrace the truth that setbacks are a part of life.
Loss and disappointment are not indicators. Of our worth, of your worth, they are part of success. This is true in our careers, our personal lives, our health, and yeah, even our local, national, and global politics.
That’s why another favorite quote of mine is from a real life leader, Nelson Mandela, who said, I never lose. I either win or I learn. These words are so powerful. They remind me that even in moments of setback, I have the opportunity to grow. It’s not about avoiding pain or hardship.
And every moment you are learning, growing, and developing. And becoming more of who you are meant to be because you make the brave choice to make it so
It’s about choosing each experience, however, joyful or painful or anything in between as a chance to learn. I hope that you have been. And we’ll continue to receive messages from the people in your life and from within yourself that uplift you, that strengthen you and remind you of your inherent worth.
If no one has told you yet, let me be the one to say it again. You matter, believing in your worth, believing that you deserve space in this world and that your voice deserves to be heard. Is an act of bravery. It is a brave choice you make each moment.
I see you. I believe in you. I believe in all of us. We have the power to rise through hard times . I want to share a bit of my own personal story.
My family, my white family has frequently been on the wrong side of history.
Since the early 1900s, as a child, I was heartbroken when I learned that my U. S. family had supported segregation, turned to private schools, and even supported ending public spaces instead of sharing them. Those realizations were difficult.
I am grateful for the openness of those very, very few who have engaged in honest and sometimes painful conversations with me on my German side, I’ve had conversations with families who were once Nazis. Those talks left me feeling both deeply grateful for their vulnerability, their perspective from that time and crushed.
By the reality of how people can be selfishly swept onto the wrong side of history. I am grateful that I had the bravery to open up those conversations, to learn from them and help the errors of the past and still commitment for a better future.
I love many of my ancestors, both biological and chosen. Thank you And while I carry that love, I cannot say I am proud of the choices they made. They chose wrong. And that’s a reality, a sacred obligation I carry with me.
Since 2001, I have made a conscious choice to try and be different, to take the harder path.
The one that doesn’t allow me to stand by passively, even when doing so might be more comfortable for me as a white woman.
Now, as a mother, I consistently ask myself if my choices, my efforts or my lack of efforts are aligned with what I want to be able to tell my Children as they mature enough to ask the big questions, questions like. What were you doing during the refugee waves of 2013, during the rise of Christian nationalism, neo Nazism in the AfD in Germany, during the growing fascism within the U S from 2016 and onwards.
I am sharing this with a lot of fear. I am choosing to live my brave in this moment. I am scared of publishing this, but I will. I share this because I hope that you feel the importance of the choices you are making right now. And I hope it reminds you that the work you are doing in your career and in your life and your family and your community and the work we’re doing here on this podcast and within my client community.
It is real and it is meaningful, we are in the long run. Thank you for being here with me. To close today.
I encourage you to feel all your feelings, let them come and let them go. Please do not rush yourself to feel better or brighter. And when you’re not quite ready, get and then stay. Involved, whether that means challenging yourself with new information and new habits, organizing for growth and inclusion with an organization led by experienced leaders or any other way to be and stay engaged together.
Let’s make the brave choice to show up for ourselves, our communities, our industry, our future and our legacy. Thank you for being here, for being a part of this community
remember, you, yes, you matter right here, right now, just as you are. You matter.
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